Barring time, space, and sexual orientation, I could have been the love child of Erma Bombeck and David Sedaris. My parents, ever the picture of creativity and compromise, would have built our house halfway between her home in Dayton, Ohio and his in Paris, France… putting us somewhere out in the middle of the Atlantic ocean. Our happy (and hopefully seaworthy) home would have been filled with endlessly entertaining banter, where sarcasm and self-deprecating humor were doled out in equal measure. And every night, after a good-natured fight over which one of them got to read me excerpts from their novels as a bedtime story, I would be lulled to sleep by the frantic sound of typing fingers. There would have been no obstacle the Bombeck (hyphen) Sedaris family couldn’t overcome together… except perhaps how they were going to row me to and from school everyday.
I began this blog in the hopes that it would stimulate what little grey matter I have left – use it or lose it, they say. Well, after over a decade of being a stay-at-home mom, I was definitely losing it! Had I waited much longer to fire up those dormant cerebral synapses in my head, I’m pretty sure my brain would have started to ooze out my ears like warm oatmeal.
My main goal in life is to prevent my two children from growing up to be serial killers…. though on most days, my children test my resolve not to become one myself. My interests and hobbies include (but aren’t limited to) taking afternoon naps, watching enviously while my cats take afternoon naps, and praying that my kids will one day want to take an afternoon nap. I would tell you where I currently reside, but my paranoid fears warn me against it. While I may be (fairly) certain my kids aren’t serial killers, I can’t say the same about you. And the last thing I need to worry about is a homicidal maniac dropping by my house for a surprise visit – having a total stranger find out what a crappy housekeeper I am would be a total nightmare.
Contact Me: firstname.lastname@example.org